Kung Fu Jesus!

Last week was totally all about the Kung Fu shoes.

This week is totally all about the Jesus sandals!

FINALLY! I have been waiting for the weather to get nice enough to bust out these babies! You really can't go wrong with the Jesus shoes. My Jesus shoes are my homeboys.

I'm not sure how good they will be for sneaking, but I suppose it doesn't really matter, does it? Who needs to sneak when you can walk on freaking water?? Nobody, unless you are a greedy, selfish a-hole. (But I'll probably try it anyways, just for fun. I mean, when you can take it to the limit, you would be a fool not to.)

I am also thinking about using the Jesus sandals for Kung Fu purposes. I think they would do a spectacular job. SPECTACULAR. I mean, it's a big enough burn to have me kick you in the face, but to be kicked in the face by the shoe of the LORD?? That is a very harsh burn, indeed.













Dude. If this guy kicks you in the face, you KNOW it's gonna hurt something FIERCE!

I wish these hallways were made of water so that everyone else's pants would get totally wet cause they would all be knee deep in stupid water, and then I would walk past on TOP of the water and I would be all, "Sup, bitches? Did I ever tell you how much I enjoy dry pants?" Then they would get totally jealous of my shoes, but that would be a sin because you shouldn't be jealous of Jesus OR his shoes so they would all be condemned to hell, but then I would save them all and I would totally get a pay raise and be Employee of the Century.

Yeah, that would be cool. Just step one in my plan for world domination. GOOD TIMES.