Hey, buddy!

When you meet new people there is always this weird kind of social dance you have to go through before you become official friends. It can often be quite complicated and difficult to navigate, because if you muck it up they will run off and tell everyone they know about how big of a jerk you are. And then how will you ever make new friends? You won't, not with that crowd. You will have to move on to a new group, where you could potentially eff that up too. It's tricky business.

Typically this all starts when you encounter a new person the first time after you have first met them. This is where your people reading skills can really screw you over. So you are walking down the street or wherever, and you notice the new person. What do you do? How do you deal with this. Wave or not wave? Say hi or not say hi? Friendly smile? Witty elevator comment about the weather? Inquire as to when Friday will be arriving? It's just so confusing. Make the wrong move and an entire social circle will hear about how much of a spaz you are.

This happened to me this morning. I was walking down the street and I spotted the new person. Right away I thought, "Crap! What do I do?" Then there was the weird moment when you both know that you have recognized each other. You can actually see them going through the same thought process as you. I paused for a moment, trying to gauge the situation... and then... I get the wave. So I smiled and waved back and thought to myself, "Yeah that's right new kid. You so want to be my friend."

And who wouldn't want to be friends with this winning combination of self-deprecating humour, false arrogance and biting wit? As an added BONUS, I will totally write about you on the Internet!