There's a reason they call lame dudes "Chachi".

So I'm sitting here in my pj's watching "Scott Baio is 45... and Single" and feeling a little anxiety. (Mind you, I did just drink a latte, so it could just be the caffeine.)

ANYWAYS... so the basic idea of the show is that Scott Baio is 45... and single... because he's a total asshole. So he hired this life coach woman to help him figure out why he can't commit to any serious relationships and why he has cheated on every single woman he has ever dated.

This show is mildly entertaining because it is SCOTT BAIO... and because he's such an asshole... and because he hangs out with Wayne from the Wonder Years... but mostly because it is interesting to see how messed up this dude is. He dates these beautiful girls and breaks up with them for weird reasons such as "Denise Richards has big feet that look like flippers so I dumped her." Whaaaa?

So why the anxiety? Well, obviously I'm not as effed up as Scott Baio, but the thought of wandering around at 45 and still trying to find a spouse is downright terrifying. Seriously. Screw horror movies, THIS is the really scary shit. It may give me nightmares. *shudder*

Not so bad after all...

You know, being at work becomes slightly more enjoyable when you listen to Fleetwood Mac at your desk.



TUSK!

So good.

Holiday Math!

Here is a little festive math lesson for you:

Christmas + presents(hilarious aunts and uncles) = GOOD TIMES

HOWEVER...

Work + week between Christmas and New Year's = TOTALLY LAME^2(!)

It's the truth.

How was your Christmas? Mine was good times. I got some new technology. Woot.

It's like Festivus, all over again.

So here I am, at work on Christmas Eve. Everyone else around here didn't have to come in today. I figured that I would be done by around 11:30 or noon... and I was. At 11. But I am still here... because I have to help other people do their work. I know it's the season of giving and crap, but SERIOUSLY. I was done... and I should be eating a delicious brunch right about now. But no. I am stuck at work, not eating and being REALLY hungry. I'm starting to think that I am going to miss brunch entirely.

I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

Brunch is so delicious. Working is so lame. THIS SUCKS!

I'm in a glass case of emotion right now. I'm really hungry. Please save me some scraps of bread or something. This is total bullshit.

I'm a writer? I'm a writer.

Last night I went to a super crazy Christmas party where I didn't really know anyone. So I met new people. One of these people was a friend of Ange (the hostess). We were making all the usual small talk... and when she asked me about my job, I did the best I could to explain what it is that I do.

Girl: "So, do you do any writing at your job?"

ME: "No... I'm not really a writer."

Girl: "But do you write?"

ME: "Yeah... but not at work."

Girl: "So you like to write... and you write for fun..."

ME: "Yeah... but I'm not really a writer."

Girl: (laughing) "You're totally a writer. Don't be so modest about it. Just because you don't get paid for it, doesn't mean it doesn't count!"

ME: "I guess you're right. Awesome! I'm totally a writer."

Sweet.

If the sun isn't awake yet, I shouldn't be either.

I got up stupidly early this morning to go to the annual Christmas time work breakfast... which was at 7am... which is kind of bullshit. The breakfast is always fun and delicious, but it is the time that is bullshit.

It is now just after 9am and I am 2 cups of coffee in. I am still way tired. We will just have to see how this plays out... my guess is not well.

YAY CHRISTMAS!

Ouch.

I still can't believe this conversation actually happened. It hurts me so.

Work Ladies: "Hey, who sings this?"

Me: "What?"

W.L.: "Bohemian Rhapsody. Who sings it? It's Meatloaf, right?"

Me: "GAH!" *puts hands over heart and falls over dramatically* "QUEEEEEEEEEEEENNNN!"
W.L.: "Ohhhhh, Queen!"

Me: ""That personally offended me. Meatloaf? MEATLOAF????? I can't believe you said Meatloaf..."

I'm still getting over it. MEATLOAF???? That's just insulting.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

MSN seems to think this was important enough to write about:

Ben Affleck's Ginger Addiction

Ben Affleck is addicted to gingerbread men.

The Hollywood actor - who has a two-year-old daughter, Violet, with wife Jennifer Garner - says his favourite part of Christmas is snacking on the sweet treat.

He said: "For me, Christmas is all about gingerbread cookies. I love them. My friends and family always tell me to stop eating them but I can't! I can't! They're so addictive, I just can't help myself."

The 'Hollywoodland' star admits he is looking forward to taking a break from work and spending some "quality" time with his family.

Meanwhile, Ben's wife Jennifer is set to be seduced by Ricky Gervais.
The 'Alias' beauty is to play the British comic's love interest in new film 'This Side of Truth', in which Gervais plays a man who discovers how to lie in a world where people only know how to be honest.

You know, I'm so glad they posted this, because last night I woke up in a panic thinking
"HOLY SHIT, DOES BEN AFFLECK LIKE GINGERBREAD????" Finally a kid can get some sleep around here!

Jesus.

Tomorrow's story: "Matt Damon Also Enjoys Christmas Baking."

A man so attractive he makes heterosexual men blush...

I went to see Bon Jovi last night! It was free! Otherwise, I would not have attended. But I'm glad I did. Here's why:






















LOOK AT THAT SMILE!!!! Seriously. How friggin cute and charming is that dude? He made Craig blush a little. I don't blame him.

However, seeing the show last night made me realize something. As far as rockstars go, Jon Bon Jovi is a kind of a nerd. He does not bring with him the usual tales of scandal and saucy behaviour. He married his high school sweetheart and has 4 kids. HELLO?? LAME!

He also kind of dances like a bit of a dork. There are points when you are watching him and thinking, "Really? Are you really doing that?" But then he smiles. And you forgive him.

It also doesn't hurt when she shakes his butt either. The dude has a nice butt, I gotta say.

What Christmas means to me, my love...

I got you a present. You can open it early. Why? Because nothing says Christmas like shirtless Steve Perry and a little Wheel In the Sky.




This is what the wise men were singing when they were following that star thingy.

Also, is it just me or does Steve Perry kind of have a cute haircut? Layered with bangs... he's so in right now.

Just because.

I just found out that there are some locations of Superstore that are staying open 24 hours a day from now until just before Christmas. This seems CRAZY to me. I kind of want to go... only because it seems so weird and forbidden.

Can you imagine? Me! In a grocery store! At 2am!

That's just wacky.

None of the Vancouver ones are open that late... so if you wanna go, you have to haul your butt out to Langley or Coquitlam. I'm so there.

Thanks folks, I'll be here all month.

So that's it. I'm officially done with the holidays for the rest of the month. That's weaksauce! At least I don't have to work on the stat holidays... but it's still lame. If I were not forbidden to take time off for the week of Christmas, I would have taken it then. Diss!

I've been at work for about an hour now, and I'm ready to go home now. How did I do this all year long? Crazy.

Back with a vengance.

My seasonal rage issues, that is.

I was really happy when I got to hang out with Jamie and Carla this afternoon, because I hadn't seen them in AGES. It's funny how you never really realize how much you have missed someone until you see them again. It was so fun hanging out with them again.

I was fine when I got to the mall to meet my sister. But by the time I got out of there, I was effing MISERABLE. Not just regular style grumpy... but like, yell at children kind of mad. I would have too, because about 17 of them had run into me by the time I left.

THEN I got home... only to leave again 3 mins later to run to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for 7 dozen cookies that I really don't want to fucking make, but must make TONIGHT.

I'm so not happy right now. You can only hope that by the time you cross my path, I will have brightened up a bit. However, I can say that right now it is not bloody likely to happen any time soon. I HATE CHRISTMAS!

Actually, I kind of hate everything at the moment. Including NPR. RAWR!

A slightly selfish Christmas gift.

When I was a kid, I had this toy that I LOVED. It was seriously the coolest thing EVER. Somewhere along the line my mom got rid of it... but I tell you, that thing was the most fun a kid could ever ask for. Which is why I freaked the hell out when I found it in Winners yesterday and bought it for my nephew for Christmas. (It's okay for me to say this on the internet, because he is 4 and can't read.)

What is this magical toy?? You know you love it, child of the 80's...





















THE SNOOPY SNO CONE MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes, it is real. It is sitting in my house right now. This thing is worth its weight in gold, I tell you. It provided me with so much amusement as a child... I can't imagine any kid NOT loving it.

Now I will just have to convince him that this is one of those special toys that lives at Grandma and Grandpa's house... (don't look at me like that. It says Ages 4 - ADULT on the box!)

Oy to the world... Chrismukkah is here!

MERRY MAZEL TOV!

Well kids, it is that time of year again... it is Chrismukkah!

In keeping with tradition, I have strung up my Hanukkah lights and set up my makeshift menorah. AND this year we also have a little Christmas tree! In keeping with the Chrismukkah colour scheme, it is silver with blue ornaments. Oh yes, it is awesome.

I love Chrismukkah! It is way better than regular old Christmas, that's for sure. My mother has always been happy to indulge me in celebrating this wacky little holiday by making me latkes and calling me on the first night of Hanukkah... but I still don't get any presents. Meh. For me, it is more about the fun I have making matzoh ball soup and latkes. THIS year, I am going to make an attempt at my very first Matzoh Bread house! I'll try and put some pics up when it is done.

In the meantime, check this out. It's pretty much the best holiday music EVER. Chrismukkah is hilarious, yo! HILARIOUS.

Goodbye, old friends.

My landlords officially moved out today, as the new owners are moving in. (In the snow! Ack!)

They moved out all of their stuff last week sometime, so I didn't get to say goodbye to the baby (Vesna) and the puppy (Duka) or the mommy (Marina). Frankly, I'm a little sad. I'm going to miss playing with Duka and getting puppy cuddles to make up for the fact that I don't get to see my dog as often as I would like. I told Darren to send us pictures of the Vesna and Duka. I really hope he does, because they are seriously CUTE.

However, it's not all sad news. I met the new landlords today and they are super nice and really cool. They also happen to have A REALLY CUTE BABY!!!! They also have a 4 year old that I haven't met yet, but odds are that she is totally adorable. It's only a matter of time before they get a puppy, right? Kids LOVE puppies.

I think this is going to work out just fine. Hooray for cuteness!