The man just asked you a question... answer him!

This was a Gap commercial from YEARS ago... but I always think of it when New Year's Eve rolls around. I just think it's so lovely. There is a full length version of this kicking around somewhere, but I just love the actual commercial so much.



So, what ARE you doing? Making out? Dancing? Making out while dancing?

I went out for some yummy sushi with Lydia and Kelly, and then came right back home to put on my sweatpants. I am kind of finding myself longing to be at a great big ol' dance party, but I am just not feeling well. I think my body needs tea and rest. But I seriously wish it needed beer and booty shaking. *le sigh* (Holy crap, that's a tweet. I'm using it. Look for it on the sidebar to your left in like 5 mins! LOL)

Will one of you take me to a dance party next year? I promise I'll try my hardest not to get sick.

Ice, ice baby.

The sidewalks are a slippery mess today. I nearly fell on the way to the bus stop about 3 times! Oy.

So like, Happy New Year or whatever. Got any big plans? I do not. As of this moment, I still do not know what the hell I am going to do tonight. My car is still not about to be driven anywhere, due to the icyness, so if I DO dare to leave the house it will be somewhere close to home.

Also, I am sick. My thoughtful family decided that they needed to pass on this wicked awesome cold to me. Yay! This makes me not want to venture too far from home. Mostly because the thought of not sleeping in my own bed when I feel like this is not appealing.

So whatever you do tonight, have fun! Think of me at midnight... I will probably be in bed in a NyQuil induced haze. WORD.

Good God, you all!

So I was at work today and I heard this song on the radio:



The actual song itself is enough to make me laugh. But it is especially bad because pretty much every time I hear it I think of this:




Man alive. I need help.

*whew*

Friends, I have finally made it back home!

I couldn't get home on Boxing Day cause it was too snowy and my Dad didn't feel like driving me home. I didn't come home on Saturday because we decided that it would be much more fun for me to stay another night so that we could go shopping on Sunday morning.

Despite all the rain yesterday, the streets all around my neighborhood are still TERRIBLE! My mom could only get the minivan about a block away from my house, (any closer and we surely would have been stuck!) so I had to grab as much as I could carry and run it into my house before going back for the rest of it. Thankfully, my sister helped me out, so it was much faster.

Now I'm finally home. I'll admit, it was actually really fun being stranded with my family. I got to play in the snow with my sister and nephew on Christmas Eve, play Wii all morning and eat dinner with my giant family on Christmas, spend an entire day in pj's and sweatpants with my mom on Boxing Day, play in the snow some more with my Dad and my dog, and go shopping with my Mom and sister! *whew*

And NOW... it's laundry time. The fun just does not stop with me.

On snow.

As you can gather from my last post, Christmas Eve had me quite stressed out. By the time I got out to my parents' house I was tried, hungry and miserable. 

But, in the end it was worth it. It was so much fun spending Christmas Eve and morning with my parents, sister, and my brother and his family. My nephew is 5 now, and it was pretty fun watching him get SO EXCITED about the whole thing.

My parents got a Wii for my brother's family and so you can guess what we did all morning. And now I want one. So fun! My nephew turned out to have a natural ability to kick ass at Wii Boxing, which was 100% hilarious to watch. 

It is snowing AGAIN as I speak, so it looks like I'm here for another night at least. Which isn't the WORST thing ever cause my mom is cooking another turkey for dinner! Nom nom nom.   

Suck it, Christmas.

I know. You are all, "Whoa, you are such a Grinch for posting that title on Christmas Eve!" And me? I'm all, "Yeah? Well, SUCK IT!"

If you had been through what I had been through today, you might also be of the same mindset. 

Since it was snowing like a mother-you-know-what-er, the snow on my unplowed side street was just far too deep for me to get my car out. So I was forbidden by my mother from trying to drive. My dad was being grumpy and refused to come pick me up. So this meant that my only option was to get on the old Skytrain. Which NORMALLY would have been fine. 

I made it to the train station in good time, but as soon as I got there the platform was PACKED with people. This meant that when the train finally did get there, I could not get on the train with my two giant bags because people are all self-serving assholes and budged in front of me even though I had been waiting for WAY longer then they had. 

After 3 trains passed me in 30 mins, one of them came back into the station backwards. A tree had fallen on the tracks and they couldn't move eastbound until it was cleared, which would take 30 mins. A bunch of people bailed at that point, freeing up just enough space for me to stand with my giant bags and my giant purse. 

An hour later I am still standing on the train. They assure us it is almost done. 

2 hours later, and seriously REALLY almost done. "You might as well keep waiting. It won't be long now!"

3 hours later and it FINALLY gets moving. After 2 stops I finally got a seat and was able to sit for the rest of the ride out to Surrey.

By the time I finally set foot in my parents' house it was a full 5 hours after I had left my house. I had been standing for 3 hours and hadn't eaten since breakfast at 7:30am. So yes, I yelled on the phone at my mom and sister. I'm not going to apologize for it either. 

So yeah. SUCK IT, CHRISTMAS.

Enjoy your white Christmas...

... IF YOU CAN ACTUALLY GET TO IT!

Oh sweet baby Jesus. On this, the eve of your non-literal birthday, I am SCREWED. As of this moment, I have no idea how I will be getting to my parents' house in the burbs. My mother has told me that I am not allowed to drive because she is afraid. So here's hoping that I don't have to brave the buses and that my Dad will come and get me!

Eeeeek!

I must say, though... it *does* look mighty pretty out there. You know what? The snow is like those really super good-looking guys who are total a-holes. Nice to look at, but do you REALLY want to deal with that shit? It's a tough call, really.

Also, MERRY CHRISTMAS or whatevs.
Kisses!

Captain Obvious

Well, shoot. How did I not notice this RIGHT AWAY???? This is exactly the sort of thing I am normally able to pick up on immediately. I've failed you, dear readers.

ANYWAYS, have a look and see what I'm talking about. IT IS SO OBVIOUS!!!!



Single ladies love FOSSE!

I'm seriously disappointed in myself for missing this at first. Wah. You are a clever one, Beyonce. If there was ever a pop star who could handle Fosse rip off choreography, it is you. I bow at your feet.

My mommy loves me.

Conversation with my mother from this weekend:

MOM: "After this year, I'm done with stockings. DONE. Your brother and Ashley live together, so they can take care of their own stockings. Same with your sister. She'll be living with Myles by then so they are on their own!"

ME: "..."

MOM: "I'll just do one for your father... and don't worry, I guess I can still do one for you too."

ME: "Wow. Okay. Thanks Mom. I'M SORRY I'M SUCH A BURDEN TO YOU."

MOM: "It's okay."

LOLZ! She loves me so much that she has committed to filling my stocking until I reach the age of 60, at which point we will re-evaluate the situation. HAHAHA! BEING SINGLE IS SO HILARIOUS!

Something to keep you warm.

Because it is SO FLIPPING COLD OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!!



You just TRY not dancing your butt off when you listen to this. (NOTE: I have tried. All attempts were unsuccessful. Which is actually kind of a victory, so yay for me!)

Enjoy! And don't forget to take a sweater. Or like, 7.

Somebody call 911!

Backdraft is totally on TV right now. Have you seen it? It is a film from long, long ago... back when Billy was totally the hottest of all the Baldwin brothers. It's true. There was a time in the 90's where he totally took over the title from Alec. It was awesome. Here's proof:




Damn. That is one good movie. Complete with an action montage set to a song about feelings. It doesn't get much better than that.

Sadly, time has not been totally kind to Billy. He is no longer reigns supreme in the Baldwin family. I think we can all agree that Alec has reclaimed the title of "Hottest Baldwin Brother By Far". Here's proof:



You know I'm right.

I knew that wasn't a total waste of time!

I am referring to two things with the above statement:

1) The 5 friggin years I spent in college, AND
2) All that time I have spent watching Mad Men over the past year.


Whaaaaaaa? How could those things possibly be related? Well, in January I will be moving into a new job. Which is actually *sort of* the same job I have now... except that I get to write. As a job. Writing. For money. (I KNOW, RIGHT?????)

I spent 5 friggin years in college so that I could learn how to communicate effectively via the written word. Which suddenly doesn't seem so stupid anymore. AND all that time I spent watching Mad Men actually turned out to be research. For my job. As a writer. (I KNOW, RIGHT???)

This is going to be crazy. Or one might also say it will be "of unsound mind". That's right, bitches. I know how to use a thesaurus.

Fast is the new regular speed.

Hey, what has two thumbs and up until about 20 mins ago was totally wearing her shirt inside out?

This guy. (girl)

*groan*

I should also mention that when I came upon the sign that said "SIDEWALK CLOSED" just around the corner from work, I just stood there for a minute thinking "WELL NOW HOW AM I GOING TO GET OVER THERE????" Try crossing the street or walking around the back way, idiot!

This day is going to be AWESOME.

Nom nom nom.

Macaroni and cheese
Originally uploaded by JuJu Coop

I eated this.

It is macaroni and cheese! With cheese cascading down the sides!

It is from Burgoo, and it was THE BEST.

OMG, I TOTES FORGOT TO TELL YOU THIS!!!

I should have mentioned this AGES ago... but I be forgetful, yo!

If you wish to check it out, you can also find me blogging over at the magnificent jcritty.com! It is the home of the podcast "JCritty's Talk Chat" and a few other awesome bloggers. Check it out, if you are so inclined. Critty is an awesome dude and makes me laugh my face off on a regular basis.

Yayyyyyyy!

I think maybe I'm tired.

Okay. So first things first. In order to understand the following hilarious transcription of Facebook interaction, you will need to know who Galen Weston is.
























Laaaaaaaadies! He's totally hot, right?


So, ANYWAYS... I noticed that my sister had this awesome quote on her Facebook profile. "Bullshit you had the flu! You had the I'm afraid of Patrick Swayze!" So I wrote this note on her wall:

Hey dorkus. Question: Where did you hear the quote you have about Swayze??? That shit is funny. FACT: A young Patrick Swayze can be seen as a backup dancer in the video for the Toto hit "Rosanna". YOU DID NOT KNOW THAT, DID YOU?

She then explained that it was from an episode of Trailer Park Boys. But that is not the point. After I wrote that, I totally got the song Rosanna stuck in my head. So I re-wrote the lyrics and posted it as my status:

Sarah ♪will meet you all the way, *DA-NA-NA!* Galen Wes-ton, yeah...♫.

Then when she asked me if I meant the guy from President's Choice I said "Indeed. He's so hot he's making me sexist. BOOM!"

And then I LOL'd for reals.

THE END.

Dream a little dream of Wolverine...

Here is the last thing I remember from my dream before my alarm went off this morning. It was awesome:

So I'm sitting there talking to Hugh Jackman, who is in character as Wolverine, but is not *actually* Wolverine, so I'm calling him Hugh the whole time. He doesn't seem to mind this.

ME: "Dude, you totally have like, the best sideburns EVER."

HJ: "I know, right? Why do you think I keep agreeing to make these movies? It ain't for the richness of the plot, if you know what I'm saying..."

ME: "But seriously. If I were a guy and I wanted facial hair, that is totally how I would do it up. Mega Super Chin Strap Sideburns!"

HJ: "Personally, I don't understand why more people don't rock this look."

ME: "It really is a shame."

HJ: "You know who would look totally awesome with these Mega Super Chin Strap Sideburns? That friend of yours who likes all the nerd comics and stuff. Dave?"

ME: "DUUUUUUUUUUUDE."

HJ: "I know."

ME: "If anyone on this planet ever tried to grow those and wear that look un-ironically it would be him."

HJ: "I'm pretty sure that is his destiny."

ME: "Hugh, you are so right. So very, very right..."

BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

That is when my alarm went off. Then I woke up and sat there for a minute trying to figure out why the crap I was dreaming about friggin' Wolverine and then I was all, OH YEAH I TOTALLY WATCHED HEROES RIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO BED.

The end.

Back in the saddle again.

Today was my first day back at work from my super awesome staycation. This working thing is less than awesome. I feel very sleepy and have a severe case of the "I don't want to be heres". I thought I had found the cure for those (which was applesauce) but I was wrong. It just made my tummy a little upset... so now I REALLY don't want to be here.

But there is good news, friends! My friend who currently lives in northern Alberta (gah!) just called me and she is in town. She is coming to pick me up at work and has promised me things such as tea and wonderful chats. Yay! This is also awesome because it means that I don't have to carry a giant sewing machine home on the bus. WOOT. (That is not as weird as it sounds. A lovely coworker of mine is letting me borrow her sewing machine while she is on vacation for a month. So she left it for me at work. RAD!)

The only thing I have to remember is to make sure I do not drink any caffeinated tea. I had some trouble getting back into my regular sleeping patterns last night. Frig. I mean, who actually gets up before 11am if they don't have to? NOT THIS KID.

There goes THAT idea...

Well, I was considering going out today... perhaps downtown to try and find those super hot True Religion jeans that were hardcore on sale. Cause I want them. But then I discovered this here Gossip Girl MARATHON on TV... so... the chances of me running off to find a deal are greatly decreased.

Seriously. Chuck Bass is kinda hot. Even more so now that I know that he's British in real life. *swoon* But he's like, 21.

Dang, yo.

Staycation time.

So. Here I am... on vacation! If the heat were ever on up in this bitch I would put on some steel drum music and pretend like I was in the Caribbean... just like my grandma did that one time. (It was HILARIOUS.) But alas, it is goddamn freezing in here so that just is not going to happen.

It is day 2 of my at home vacation, and so far I have managed to fill my time. Yesterday I went shopping with my sister, and today I slept in late and then wandered around downtown for awhile. I got some things accomplished, which was nice. But here's the thing. Now I have no idea what the heck I'm going to do for the rest of the week.

So, how 'bout it buddies? Do any of you kids ever find yourselves at home during the day in the middle of the week? If so, what do you do to pass the time? Do you go out every day? Where do you go? Help me out here, kids.

I don't want to get bored on my awesome vacation!

Step 1? We can have lots of fun... *If you know what I mean*

So. I got free tickets to NKOTB. Jess came with me. It was friggin' AWESOME.

It was pretty much exactly as I remembered it from Grade 4... they were dancing like nobody's business, and the whole time I was thinking about how awesome it would be if I were married to one of them. Preferably Jordan.

The only differences being that a) I was mildly intoxicated, and b) my concept of what goes on in a marriage is slightly different.

ANYWAYS... watch this. And replace these two dudes with me. With a beer in my hand. Voila! You have a mind-video of what I looked like at this show. Totally used the same moves, but was not wearing a vest or sunglasses.



Oh, I *know* that the time is right. HUH! (Please note that Jess and I waited the whole song for the part where we could re-enact the part where Jordan plays the fake violin from the music video.)

Sharif don't like it.

He really, really hates it! So do I!

I'm talking about Christmas music, of course.

Yesterday when I was out doing a little bit of shopping, I heard it. It was enough to make me stop dead in my tracks.

"Am I REALLY hearing this right now? WTF day is it? CRAP!"

Seriously, though. IT IS NOVEMBER, PEOPLE! NO-FREAKING-VEMBER!

It would appear as though my holiday-induced nervous breakdown may be arriving a little earlier than scheduled this year. Awesome!

I'm even socially awkward in my dreams.

Right before I woke up this morning I had a funny dream. The reason it was so funny is because it is entirely possible that it could happen in real life... and if it ever DID happen in real life it would probably play out exactly the same way. Because I apparently don't know how to talk to people. HAHA AWESOME!

In my dream, I was in this weird corner store on Main Street. (Oddly specific... I know.) I looked up and saw someone who looked really familiar to me. After staring at said individual for a bit I finally figured out who it was. It was a person that I had not actually met before, but had seen pictures and know from a mutual friend and Internet contact. The person then looked over and saw me. There was this weird "Hey, do I know you?" moment. So I decided to say something.

"Hey, are you ____?"

"Yeah... wait. Are you Sarah?"

"Yeah. Isn't this weird? Cause we've never actually met before. But it feels like maybe we have?"

"It is weird. How's it going?"

"Ummmm... good. You?"

"Good. Yeah..."

"Yeah."

*awkward silence*

"Well, ummm... it was nice to finally meet you. But, I've gotta get going. See you around! Say hi to ____ for me."

"Yeah, I will. Bye!"

Then I walked out of the store feeling like I was about to have a heart attack and feeling sure that this person was going to be all, "Oh, I met Sarah. She's SO WEIRD." And then I would have a lot of work ahead of me to prove that I am not a complete and total moron. Which would be really hard to prove, because I sort of AM a complete and total moron.

But if this ever were to actually happen, that is probably EXACTLY how it would play out. Because I have serious anxiety about situations like that. If I actually were to encounter this scenario, "hilarious and charming via the written word" me would high tail it out of there and would leave "nervous about unfamiliar social situations" me alone to fend for myself. Yay!

I am now really freaked out that this could really happen. I would much prefer to meet this person via proper introduction, because I would be far less likely to make a complete ass of myself if the friend is there as the buffer.

And just for fun... can anybody guess who this mystery person is?

Yo! What's the Haps? ... DOT COM!

Yes, kids. You read it right. I'm totally a DOT COM now!

WHOA. THAT IS CRAZY.

I hope this means I will get to hang out with Grizz now. You know, cause I'm a DOT COM.

Niiiiiiiice.

So, you want to hear something crazy? Apparently, when Tina Fey says something on 30 Rock, that means several people google it the next day. In this particular instance she said "What's the haps?" and then my blog traffic tripled in one day. AWESOMENESS.

They will probably never come back here, but WHATEVS. Thanks, Tina Fey! (I like your glasses. I too wear glasses. Please be my friend?)

Three.

Three years ago today, I started my job.

I have been working at the same place for three years.

I. Have been working. Here. For three years.

I do make more money than I did when I started.

I do sort of have more responsibilities that I did when I started.

But I don't get to write. Meh.

However, I have had the pleasure of working with some of the most awesome and hilarious people around, so I can't complain.

GUESS I WILL JUST HAVE TO KEEP BLOGGING, HUH?

The real night court is totally different. The hookers aren't funny...

OMG YOU GUYS! DID YOU TOTALLY WATCH 30 ROCK TONIGHT? DID YOU TOTALLY SEE ME GET MENTIONED ON TV EXCEPT NOT REALLY?

Allow me to explain. In one particular scene in tonight's episode, Liz Lemon and Jen Aniston were chatting. In this one part, two blogs were name-checked! (Except not really.) It went something like this:

Liz: "(blah blah blah) (Yo!) What's the haps?"

Jen: "(blah blah blah) Tentative plans... (blah blah blah)."

And then Lydia and I were all, "WHOA DUDE! THAT IS CRAZY!" Because it kind of was.

So now I will sit and wait for the phone call from Tina Fey, where she will tell me how awesome and HILARIOUS I am... and that is exactly why I should consider a move to the NYC so I can come and write for her show.

I have a feeling I will be waiting for awhile... I should probably pop round to the store and pick up some snacks.

The long walk home.

The day after Obama won, allib twittered the following:

"Made a little pact w/ myself: if Obama won, I'd do 100 days in a row of yoga. (If McCain won, it was going to be something far different.) "

Upon reading that, I was kind of inspired. So I decided to walk halfway home from work that day. And the next day. And the next. (I only walk halfway home because it is always raining. And I have been carrying groceries like 3 of those times.) So ANYWAYS, what I am saying is that every day since Nov 5th, I have walked more than I normally would have otherwise. Just because watching Obama win was so inspiring and seeing him makes me want to be a better person, be that physically, emotionally or spiritually. So for now, I walk. I'm thinking eventually yoga will be added in. Perhaps followed by being nice to people every once in awhile.

Normally when I walk home (or take the bus, for that matter) I have my iPod on. However, due to my current ear issues I haven't been able to use my headphones. So instead of listening to music, I think about strange and exciting things. I dream up stories that I promptly forget about upon my arrival at home. But today, I didn't make up stories. Today, I tackled the issues.

I was reading this thing about how the new Jennifer Aniston Vogue cover is practically THE SAME as the last Angelina Jolie Vogue cover. CONTROVERSIAL! It got me to thinking... in the Jen vs Angie battle, who is winning?

Let's see.

Angie gets Brad. Jen gets John Mayer and whoever is hanging around the pool that day. 1 POINT JOLIE.

Angie has like 20 kids and travels the world to hang out with poor people. Jen has no kids and therefore gets to do whatever the heck she wants. 1 POINT ANISTON.

Everyone knows that Angie at more than one point in her life has been a total friggin whackjob. Jen is just so lovely and normal. 1 POINT ANISTON.

Ummm... Angie is a homewrecker? 1 POINT ANISTON.

So yeah. I'm calling this one for Aniston. Mostly because I feel the Jolie-Pitts are too showboaty. I mean, really. It IS possible to be good looking, happy and successful without always frigging TALKING ABOUT IT.

So I guess this is what happens when you get inspired by Barack Obama and then get an ear infection. Awesome, huh?

Think, think, think!

I've got to figure out a way to work the phrase, "Suck on it, Trebek!" into conversation more often. I almost NEVER get to say it.




Maybe for today I can refer to my ears as "Trebek". Cause I'm about ready to tell them to SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blurg.

Want to know what it's like to be me?

All you gotta do is stick your head under water for 3 days, then you would know how I feel right now.

Sweet. I gotta go. It's time for my nasal spray.

I could fall over at any moment, really.

Guess where I went today? To see the doctor! I KNOW, RIGHT??? It's so crazy. I never go there. So you know if I am willing to make a trip to see one, it is for a good reason.

For the past 2 days my ears have been wonky. They are all plugged up and I can't hear very well. BOOOOOOOOOOO! As it turns out, I totally have swollen eustachian tubes and a mild ear infection. Awesome, hey? Wooooooooo!

It sounds and feels like my head is underwater. It's pretty uncomfortable. Here's hoping it goes away soon.

The only good part about it is that I totally made the doctor laugh. I have this thing about doctors... when I am at the doctor I just HAVE to try to make them laugh. I just feel as though making a doctor laugh is a true test of my comedic abilities. Proving to myself that I am still CRAZY HILARIOUS makes being sick a little more bearable.

Like a bee, except I won't sting you. Stabbing is more likely.

Every once in awhile I will have a run of days where it seems like I have so much crap to do, and not enough time to do it. It's mostly when I have to be out and about during the week and therefore only spend time at home to sleep. You know, like wake up, go to work, go to stuff after work, come home, go to sleep, REPEAT. When that happens I get way whiny about it because this usually causes me to sleep less than I need to. I can be a bit of a whiner when I gets all sleepy-like.

So I'll be whining to myself about being SO TIRED and SO BUSY and SO GRUMPY and then I will remember something. I'll remember how I spent my first 3 years in college working 40 hours a week (at night and on weekends) while attending classes full time during the day. And I'll remember that in my 2 years of getting my diploma that I would often leave for school at 7am and would not get home until 11 or 12 at night. THAT was busy. I can't even imagine doing that shit now. That's probably because I'm old. When the fuck did THAT happen, yo?

Seriously. When did I get old? When did I start losing sleep because I was worried about the economy? When did I start using recipes? When did I stop being able to drink massive amounts of tequila without vomiting after?

Probably right around the time when I went for a jog and injured my hip. (True story. I think I was like, 24. I hobbled around for 2 days afterwards. It was embarrassing.) OH WELL.


Hey, if I leave work now I can still catch the early bird special...

Swoon.

(via Fussy)

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. Damn.

The happiest nerd in town.

Last night Brie and I went to watch the election with some real actual Americans! It was one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had. I'm not just saying that because I'm such a hardcore election nerd. I'm saying that because I am such a hardcore nerd for HUMAN BEINGS. I think this was a huge moment, not just for Americans, but for people in general. It is a moment that I will probably remember for the rest of my life, and I'm so glad I got to share it with people who were just as excited about it as I was.

I came home, spent way too long trying to catch up on all the Twitter action, danced around in my leggings and a t-shirt, and just sat there for awhile, smiling. Just before I went to bed, I took a look through my archives and found something kind of incredible. It will help to illustrate how excited I am about PRESIDENT OBAMA (!!!!!) and why. As it turns out, almost exactly 2 years ago after watching Bobby (the movie about Bobby Kennedy) I mentioned that after watching the movie, I immediately thought of Barack Obama as president. He won me over in 2004, and has only made me love him more since then.




















FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! (photo from Brie's Flickr.)

The best part about last night was before I went to bed, I rummaged through my closet and pulled out my old Fat Wreck Chords shirt. The one with Bush's face on it that says "NOT MY PRESIDENT". I put it on and wore it to bed. It felt great.

Oh, Internet!

Being that I am a hardcore election nerd, I decided that it would be appropriate to post some sort of election-related video. So I got to thinking. What song would be appropriate for this day? I shall now explain my journey to you.

Right away I thought, "HELLO. BOB DYLAN, OBVS!" But there are SO MANY awesome Dylan songs that I had trouble deciding. Then I thought maybe Sam Cooke? But I thought that was too obvious.

After a conversation with Dave, (who talked about how whether or not he agrees with people, he wants those people to have the freedom to make their own choices... which makes him AWESOME) I thought, "Hey! Freedom!" But that didn't have any options for embedding the video. Then I looked down at the related videos, and saw this awesome commercial for an 80's compilation called Freedom Rock. Which is 100% HILARIOUS. Because it led me to this song...



... which really has very little to do with freedom OR rock. Or voting. But it makes me laugh. So it's got that going for it, which is nice.

ANYWAYS... after thinking about it for awhile, I finally thought of the perfect song to sum up my feelings for today.



Oh the ant WILL move the motherfucking rubber tree plant, alright! Because we have
HOPE(s). High ones.

Huh.

This is probably one of the saddest things I've heard in awhile.

Barack Obama's grandmother died today. TODAY.

Can you believe that? The day before the election... life is a strange thing indeed.

El supreme-o lack-o of concentration-o.

I have had a bitch of a time focusing on things at work today. Could be something to do with the fact that I think I am getting sick. It has gotten progressively worse throughout the day... what started as the sniffles has now morphed into an achey body, stuffy nose and a little bit of coughing. I feel like my head is stuffed with cotton balls. MEH.

So this has all meant that I feel tired... and therefore can get about 3 mins into a given task before I star staring into space or some shit like that. About 10 mins ago OMD came on the radio. It was "If You Leave", which was on the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. So I'm sitting there, working away, when I hear the song and immediately stop doing what I am trying to do. I sat there for the entire song thinking about the moment in the movie where Andie totally chooses Blaine instead of Duckie, and how EVERY TIME that happens I yell out "NOOOOOOOO! ANDIE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ANDREW MCCARTHY HAS A WEIRD FACE! AND HE'S BORING! DUCKIE IS AWESOME!" Seriously. I get all riled up whenever I see it. I mean, really. Who wants to see Awkward McCarthy make out with ANYONE? Yawn.

ANYWAYS, I finally noticed that I had stopped working so I started up again. But then I started thinking about how I had stopped working when I heard OMD and I thought I needed to write about that. So now you have this steaming pile of crap. And it's all because I have ADD. (Heh. When I first typed ADD I accidentally typed ASS.)

So... I'm sorry I got sick and made you read this.

Take a bite out of crime... or perhaps just this delicious apple.

When I walked into work today, one of my coworkers was wandering around handing out apples from a giant shopping bag. He put one on my desk, and right away I was really excited about it. You see friends, this is no ordinary apple. This particular apple comes from an orchard which is owned by said coworker's mother. This particular apple was picked from the tree, put in a box and brought right to my desk! (There was probably a little bit of a stopover along the way, but you get the point.)

There is no wax on it. It is a beautiful shiny red colour all on its own. The most remarkable thing about this apple is that it SMELLS LIKE AN APPLE. It is sitting in front of me, on my desk and I can smell it from here!

This is going to be the best apple I will have all year. I'm going to eat it right now. YUMMMMM!

A mavericky maverick.

That's me, a mavericky maverick! Particularly with regards to oatmeal.

Well, friends... I've done it again! This morning I decided to make a latte instead of just using the ol' french press. Making a latte requires more of my attention, since you can't really walk away from it. You kind of have to stand there the whole time. This meant that if I hoped to leave my house on time, I would have to skip making toast for breakfast as I had planned. So out came the tupperware and in went a scoop of plain quick cooking oats. I was just about to put some sugar in with it when I noticed the tub of peanut butter that I had set out on the counter when I had thought I was going to eat toast. "Hmmmm..." I grabbed a spoon and plopped a scoop of peanut butter in there with the oats.

When I got to work I added in the hot water and let it sit for a bit. When it was all cooked, I stirred in the peanut butter and added in a squirt of honey. IT. WAS. YUMMY.

In my mind, I thought it would end up tasting much like a peanut butter oatmeal cookie. And it did. But without all the insane amounts of sugar. I AM SO DAMN CLEVER SOMETIMES. I'm sure you are all intimidated a little by that, aren't you? ;)

The one where I totally saw your butt.

In honour of the celebration of the b-days of my super rad cousins, I went to a club. (I KNOW, RIGHT????) Yes, friends. It is true. I went to a club. A fancy one.

It is called Canvas Lounge. Perhaps you have heard of it? It's an art gallery by day, and bumpin' (shit. Do the kids still say that?) party spot by night. In the name of family drinking night, I agreed to go. It was a little crazy. Here's why:

First you wait in the line for a bit. We didn't wait too long cause we be rollin' with the VIP's and were on the guest list. So they check your ID outside, BEFORE you go in. No big deal. Then they checked in my purse. A little weird, but whatevs. Apparently if you are a boy, you also have to go through a metal detector. (WHAT?) So then you get inside and you show your ID AGAIN to another dude, who then scans it into a computer. Then he takes your picture. Then you move over to a new line where you pay cover. This is where the girl says, "That will be $21." Then I say, "SERIOUSLY????"

Then they move you over to another spot where another chick says "Mandatory coat check! $9." And I say, "Touche." Once you hand over your coat, you are FINALLY allowed to go in. Seriously. I half wanted to ask someone if this is where they housed the REAL Mona Lisa or some shit like that. But at least one can say with relative confidence that you are unlikely to get a cap in yo ass while you are inside the building. I think it is easier to obtain entry to most foreign countries.

So THEN we went in and found out that our peeps were in the VIP room. That was kind of alright. It was pretty hilarious drinking with the fam, as it always is. How does that saying go? The family that drinks together is fucking awesome? Something like that. ANYWAYS... this was where the real fun started. As the place started to fill up, there were more and more ladies out in their club gear. Which apparently means wearing an effing SHIRT and that is all. These chicks were wearing "dresses" that maybe covered their butts IF they happened to be standing still. Which they were not. Because they were very busy dancing like ho's. I think you can see where I am going with this. Basically, because the VIP room is sunken and located down some stairs, and the ladies were shaking it at the top of said stairs... it was all in plain view. And it was disturbing.

However, aside from those traumas, it was pretty fun! I really do have the most awesome family EVAR. Yay!

Tangled up in blue.

I want to be like Bob Dylan. He knows what people want of him. He knows that people want him to play his songs they way they sounded a million years ago. But he doesn't care. He has been playing these songs forever, and he plays them in new ways... the way HE wants to play them.

I hope that one day (when I need to) I will be able to say, "You know what? I'm going electric. SUCK IT."

But in a far more poetic and eloquent manner, of course.

Economic crisis? Meh.

Earlier this week I made a huge mistake. (I STILL laugh every time I use the phrase "huge mistake".) After work I was watching some TV and flipping through the channels. I paused for a moment on the news. Not because I wanted to see me some news, but because Kevin Newman is muy caliente! ANYWAYS... he was talking about the current state of our precious little economy and it sucked me in. After about 15 mins I was FREAKING OUT.

Money is something that has always triggered anxiety in me. I'm used to worrying about ME not having any money. But now I gotta worry about THE ENTIRE WORLD not having any money? That's enough to drive a kid insane! (Not really. But it *does* have the potential to make a kid spend some time hiding under a pile of blankets and engage in other avoidance behavior.) So after worrying about it for a good long while, I was prompted to write this statement (in the form of a tweet):


"Fuck this shit, I'm moving back to the barter system."

I thought I was being pretty hilarious there. But then I started to really think about how that might work out for me. Sure, I've probably got a lot of crap that I don't want anymore that I could trade in for things... but the barter system also relies heavily on bartering with your skills.

My marketable skills include: sarcasm, observational humour, tap dancing, trombone playing, writing jokes .000001% of the population understands, entertaining the elderly and I also make a pretty decent vegetarian chili.

So unless the goods/services I am seeking to obtain are along the lines of "let me guest blog for you" or "invite me to your party" I am kind of screwed.

Please. Offer me some help here, people. What else could I use to barter with? I have a feeling like this is something I'm going to need to know.

Heroes: Whaaaaaaaa???

Lydia is totally into watching Heroes, and therefore since I am home at the same time and it comes on right after Gossip Girl (WHICH IS AWESOME) I end up sort of half watching it as well. Which, since I have not watched any other seasons of the show, makes for a terribly confusing hour of my life.

First off, I'm always squinting at the TV because it is so dark! What, like people with random superpowers to not need the aid of light? Was this covered in Season 1? Did I miss the line where they were like, "Hey, welcome to Heroes. All of said Heroes can see in the dark. It is very eco-friendly and we save so much money on electricity bills."

I just sit there, trying to see if I can piece things together by myself. (I don't want to be THAT person who asks questions every 30 seconds because I don't know what is going on.) Every now and then she yells something at the TV like, "OH MY GOD!" or "HURRY UP! GET OUT OF THERE!" which helps me a little bit because I am able to determine that something sort of important just happened. So far I have determined that the blonde girl's Dad is kind of a jerk, there are lots of evil people, and I am supposed to think the Japanese kid is funny. (Which I don't, really.)

But at the end of each episode I am left sitting there thinking, "HUH?" I could probably make this easier on myself if I would just go watch the show from the beginning, but I'm not really interested in it at all. My verdict so far (after 3 episodes, I think) is: meh.

Don't just stand there, bust a move.

At midnight. In Walmart.

I am terribly easy to please. Last night at around 10, Lydia said "Let's go to the Walmart that is open until midnight!" and I was all, "HELLS YEAH!"

It was a friggin awesome field trip. I am so amused by being in stores or restaurants that are open really late, or 24 hours. It just feels so crazy, like you shouldn't be able to do it. I love it!

So there we were, at 11:30 on a Friday night in the Walmart grocery store. Lydia was pushing the cart and checking out bargains, while I was having a Steve Winwood dance party. I think I danced my way through that entire store, and was not the least bit embarrassed. Because I was in Walmart. At 11:30 at night. It's like, the one place where nobody can judge you for acting like a giant dork. Because they are also in Walmart. At 11:30 at night. On a Friday.

I want to learn how to live every day like I'm in Walmart at midnight. Life is just so much more fun when you feel free to dance around like an idiot and are not worried about what other people are thinking about you.

Steve Winwood The Finer Things
Uploaded by Celtiemama

Sweaters and sneezes.

Normally I am a fan of Fall (or Autumn, as some call it), but not this year. As soon as the air decided to go ahead an become crisp, my nose got angry and staged a full scale revolt. For about a month or so, I have been fighting off allergies like CRAZY. It's pissing me off, yo!

If I do not take an allergy pill before bed, I get super stuffed up and don't sleep very well. So I take the allergy pill. I am fine for about 10 mins in the morning. After that, I have a really runny nose. For the remainder of the day at work, I sneeze like mad and alternate between runny and stuffy nose.

Upon my arrival at home the sneezing remains steady, but there is a gradual move back to full on stuffy nosedness. Then I take the allergy pill at bedtime, and we start all over again.

This is all very trying. It is making me a bit of a grumpy pants. Am I the only one dealing with this? It sort of feels like I am perpetually fighting off a cold that just never seems to materialize. What the heck? If that is the case, I'd almost rather get full on sick so that I can just get better already! Grrrrrr. Fall can SUCK IT!

ALSO... you may have noticed that I am making you jump through some new hoops if you wish to comment. You see, dear friends, I have finally gotten to the level of SUPREME annoyance with those who choose to leave negative and weird comments and are not brave enough to attach a name to them. That's the Internet for you! So please continue to leave comments, but know that they might take awhile to be published because now I have to approve them first. Look at me, ruling with an iron fist! (But don't worry. I am not hiding anything under my sweater.)

And here is where I roll my eyes and contemplate fleeing to America.

That's it. Tomorrow I buy a plane ticket to California to go hunt down Mr. Belding so I can drag his ass back up here to scold some people.

"Hey, hey, hey, WHAT is going on here?"

Indeed, Canada. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Michael Moore is SO going to kick your asses. You should be afraid. He's big!

Meh. Knowing Harper, we'll be voting again in a year anyways. Idiot.

VOTING DAY IS HERE OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

If one were to take the time to repair the flux capacitor to travel back in time to the last time we voted, you would be able to see how excited I was about voting. Whoa! What's this? We can do so without the aid of a time travelling device? Magnificent!

Flash back to the present. I AM STILL REALLY FRIGGIN EXCITED ABOUT VOTING!!!!!!!!!! I brought my election card to work with me so that I don't even have to stop back at home for 5 seconds to grab it. I can just get off the bus and GO VOTE! I'm even going to take a different bus home so I can walk to the polling station on the way to my house! THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.

I was totally going to make some coffee this morning, but then I was all, "WAIT. It is Election Day. I am so not going to need it, as I will be high... on DEMOCRACY!" And I am. I totally am.

Now I just have to debate whether or not I will choose to enforce the 3 hours of voting time rule so that I can jam outta here half an hour early.

OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THAT TINY PENCIL IN MY HANDS!

Make up your mind.

Whoa! The election is on Tuesday! Can you believe it???

Voting can be very confusing an overwhelming to some. Who do you vote for? Why should you vote for them? Only you can really answer that for yourself, but I've found something to help you out if perhaps you are like me and are more than a little frightened by the notion of a Conservative majority.

I came across this article in the Georgia Straight about strategic voting. Basically, those crazy left-wing biased journalists at the Straight want to help you figure out how to best use your vote to stop Stephen Harper! How kind of them! It is broken down into 19 different ridings across the Lower Mainland, and they tell you who has the best chance of defeating the Conservatives in each one of them. (Keep in mind, they are not necessarily telling you who the BEST candidate is. Only who has the best chance of winning if we were all to vote strategically.)

Luckily for me, the candidate that they recommend in my riding is the person I would vote for anyways. So I don't have to feel guilty about strategic voting. However, I would say that it is definitely something to consider doing.

I happen to agree with the Straight, and would urge everyone to consider how to best use your vote.

HOLY CRAP I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT VOTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude.

When I was growing up, both my parents worked full time. They worked opposite shifts so that we would always have one parent at home. This meant that I ended up spending a lot of nights at home with my Dad and my brother. Which until now, I didn't think had had much of an effect on me.

But it has, because apparently I have a total man brain. It is Sunday night and there are a few movies on TV. One is Annie... one is Escape From New York. Most girls I know would totally pick Annie. I picked Escape From New York, because there is shooting, fighting and shit getting blown up. (!!!!!!)

However, Annie is full of delightful choreography, which you KNOW I am a fan of.

I'm just going to have to find a way to make the man brain work with the lady brain. If I can figure that out, we are in business.

***UPDATE***

This just in! As it turns out, A Perfect Storm is also on. This satisfies the man brain to a certain degree due to its depiction of EXTREME! weather, while at the same time greatly satisfying the lady brain due to its representation of GEORGE! Clooney. I might just be okay after all...

Use it.

I'm very lucky to have been raised by two people who believed that even as a child, I should be informed. We all used to watch the news together, every night. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that they wanted to watch it and we only had one TV... but they could have sent us out of the room while it was on. Instead, they made us watch it.

That's probably why I get so excited about elections. When I was really young, I used to LOVE elections. I remember waiting so anxiously for election day to arrive, because that meant HOURS of election coverage on TV. So much action! I remember watching out the living room window as my parents walked down the street to go vote and being SO JEALOUS that I couldn't do it yet. When I finally was old enough to vote in my first election, I was so proud. It felt so great to finally have the right and the authority to walk into that gymnasium and put a little X beside the name of my choosing. It is super nerdy, but I get a little surge of adrenaline from voting. Seriously.

This is why I simply cannot understand why anyone who is eligible to do so, does NOT vote. What the hell, people?? It is your RIGHT to be able to do so. It is your PRIVILEGE to be able to do so. For the love of god, USE IT!!!!!

I don't even care who you vote for. (Well, I do... but that shouldn't matter to you.) Just as long as you get off your ass and do it.

PS: I just watched Slacker Uprising. Can you tell? HA!

Barackin' out.

Holy crap. This is awesome. Here we find one of my favourite Bollywood movie songs combined with one of my favourite people EVER.





I'm just so glad that there are people out there with very little to do, because it gives me things like this. Love it.

Debate this!

I just watched both the Canadian PM and American VP debates... at the same time!!! It was a little crazy. Here are my thoughts:

• Elizabeth May is kind of alright.
• Jack Layton is awesome.
• Jilles Duceppe has pretty eyes.
• Stephane Dion has a really adorable accent.
• Stephen Harper is the most boring man alive.
• Joe Biden said "Bosniacs" and it was AWESOME. But only because I suspect that he is actually kind of smart.
• Sarah Palin does not pronounce the letter g. She also says "nuke-yuh-ler". This is not funny in any way, shape or form. She also says "also" a lot. (See what I did there?)

I'm tired. No more politics tonight!

I'm fine. I WAS JUST HUNGRY.

So here's the awesome way I started my morning today.

It took me a million years to get dressed because I hated everything I put on. When I finally got dressed, I really only had time for a quick breakfast. So I pulled a frozen bagel out of the freezer. I was using a butter knife to try and pry the sucker apart when suddenly the knife slipped and shot right up my arm, leaving a long cut on my forearm. THANK GOD IT WAS ONLY A BUTTER KNIFE. It was really just like a scratch, but I put a bandage on it just so it wouldn't get irritated during the day.

So now I'll have to explain the bandage on my wrist to people. Which is funny in the most horrible way possible. I always injure myself in the most embarrassing ways. Yay!

Best morning EVAR.

I woke up with my ear hurting. Then I came out to the living room and was just hanging out when my eye got really itchy. Without even thinking about it, I rubbed my eye. Which is now completely red and starting to swell up. I am out of allergy meds. And now my ears are itchy.

I LOVE IT.

Oh, Twitter. You're so crazy!

Every once in awhile someone will reply to something I've posted to Twitter. Today I got two, both of which made me laugh... for entirely different reasons. I wrote:

I am not "single and ready to mingle." More like "single and NOT ready to mingle due to crippling fear of rejection and/or intimacy."

One reply was "I think I may get this tattooed on my ass." Which is funny for obvious reasons. But then there is the other one... which is REALLY hilarious:

"So sad. Hang in there."

Oh, man. The best part about it is that I can't tell if they were trying to be funny or expressing genuine concern... which is also funny because that would mean that they couldn't tell if I was joking.

Internet + sarcasm = AWESOME

Dear Science

I suppose you could say that TV on the Radio had me at hello. Because let's face it, if you name your album "Dear Science" you fricking know I'm going to be all over that shit. It just came out today, and I have been listening to it non-stop on their MySpace page.

HOLY SHIT, DO I LOVE THIS ALBUM. I imagined I would, since I have fallen madly in love with every song I have ever heard from this band. But still, it's nice to feel so happy and in love with a brand new piece of music. They have gotten a little funkier... and have increased the presence of horns, which automatically gets you high fives. (I am a sucker for a solid horn line.)

Call me old fashioned, but when I truly love an album I feel as though I need to have an actual hard copy of it. I can't handle only having it digitally. I need to be able to hold it in my hands, and carefully inspect the liner notes during the first listen. I love that feeling. Hence why I am probably going to take a bus allllll the way downtown after work today just so I can buy it. And while I am there, I might as well look for some new pants or something, right? Right.

In the meantime, you can watch this rad video and reach the same conclusion I have: IT IS AWESOME.

Oh, Autumn. You are a saucy little minx, aren't you?

As soon as I stepped out of the house this morning I felt it. It bit my nose, then my cheeks, then my exposed fingers. It was... cold air! OH, THE HORROR!

The entire time I was waiting for the bus, or walking to work this morning was spent shivering away under my light jacket. I suppose it's nearly time to bust out the wool pea coat.

But worse than just being cold is the fact that I feel like I may be getting one. Today I have been blessed with the arrival of post-nasal drip, plugged up ears and a little bit of achey-ness.

The only good part about it, is that it is now officially soup-making season. I could seriously survive off of soup alone. And I probably will, at least until March.

Relax. Don't do it.

That is what I kept repeating to myself all day. I was telling myself not to start screaming my face off in a fit of rage.

I kept it together. I knew I would be able to, since this morning I managed to pick out a fairly cute "Who me? I'm not bloated and homicidal today. EVERYTHING IS COOL, MAN." outfit. I even smiled at someone!

Yayyyyyyyy. Now to go home, have some tea and take a muscle relaxant. All I have to say about that is, "FUCK YEAH."

Imagine me as the newspaper stand guy or the fishmonger...

So I read some blogs today and as a result, I can't stop singing this song in my head:




Congratulations, buddies!

Making with the typey-type.

I recently referred to myself in conversation as a "frustrated writer". I was talking about myself in terms of my career, I suppose, because I do not get paid to write. (Aside from the $2 I have made through ads... THANKS FOR CLICKING, BTW!)

But after I said it, I kept thinking about that phrase and why I said it. I was talking about why I started blogging. Basically, this whole thing truly was born out of frustration. I was feeling creatively stifled. So I fixed it by hopping on here every day and writing about how much I love George Clooney. Or how mad I got at some jerk on the bus. And as stupid and mundane as these topics may be to some people, it has actually helped. A lot.

I have been posting less often here, because as you may have noticed, I'm using Twitter. It's great for me, because sometimes I am just not capable of long-form thinking. And I find it REALLY challenging to have to re-think, re-word and edit myself down to a mere 140 characters. I kind of love it. You might want to give it a go yourself!

I am just now starting to grow more comfortable with myself as a writer. The thought of people reading what I have written is not nearly as terrifying as it once was. So, I guess the point of all of this is to say that I'm not so frustrated anymore. And I finally consider myself to be a writer. Thanks for helping me get there, friends.

26 is the new 25.

(And in my case, 27 is the new 26.)

I'm keeping it rolling with the birthday posts, because... well... because I like them. What better way to show someone you care than to write about them on the Internet? THERE IS NO BETTER WAY.

So, ANYWAYS... today is Amanda's birthday! She is totally a year younger than me! And it doesn't even make me mad, because she is awesome! In keeping with the birthday traditions, I made her a card on the computer. My MS Paint skills are second to none.

I think this is some of my best work yet. I really took it to the next level by drawing in the birthday hats. (I know. It's hard to believe it, but they are not really wearing those in the original photograph.)

So, Happy B-day Amanda! I hope you like fireworks...

In Memoriam

Last night I attended a funeral. A funeral for the youth of my friend, whom we shall call "The Dude". You see, he turned 30 this week, therefore causing his youth to perish.

It was the best funeral I've ever been to. (Even during the time St. Elmo's Fire was playing. WTF, dude?) His youth was eulogized in a hilarious fashion and I think he was sufficiently humiliated. And sufficiently drunk.

So, Dude... here's to your youth. May you remember it fondly... and perhaps actually start to grow up a little. Heck, I'm WAY younger than you are, and I've already started going to bed at a reasonable hour. Even on weekends. I KNOW, RIGHT????

Also, Happy Birthday! As promised, my gift to you is your VERY OWN BLOG POST!!!! I hope you enjoy it. You can even bookmark this bitch and look at it every day. It really is the gift that keeps on giving.

All for you

So,I guess I didn't mention the most AWESOME thing to happen to me in like, a million years. I went to the Janet Jackson concert!

OMG, it was RAD. I had never seen anything like it! Costume changes! A catwalk! Set changes! DANCING!

It was so great. I danced my butt off the entire time. And I squealed whenever I noticed that she was using the original choreography to a song. (Which was like, all of them.) Because I know these things. I may or may not have spent a lot of time in my youth trying to learn the choreography from all of her videos. Because I'm awesome.

I'm so happy that I finally got to see her, and I'm even more happy that I got to share the experience with Steph. There's no other person I would have rather gone with. Mostly because she also knows all the choreography and understands what it means to see Rhythm Nation IN PERSON.

Here's a little sample of Nasty:



I hope I look that good when I'm 42. Hot damn!

*ahem ahem*

I am hella busy today, so until I have time to write about some crap I will leave you with this... which totally rules.




Make sure you watch the whole thing... cause the big payoff doesn't come in right away.

Take it easy.

For someone who can be considered to be a bit of a music nerd, it is embarrassing for me to admit how badly organized my collection is at the moment. My Cd's have migrated to places all over my room and are no longer in alphabetical order. My mp3's are no better. I still have a bunch of shitty quality files that I never bothered to re-download or delete, mislabeled files and have incomplete information! It's all just because I'm lazy.

As a result of the mp3 related laziness, some pretty stupid files have made their way onto my iPod. Every time one of them pops up I think to myself, "Gah! DELETE!" and then I promptly forget to do it. I've also not bothered to transfer all my Cd's over to my computer either. It's all just a big ol' mess. Which is why, on mornings when I am on my way to work, it is so completely amazing for the shuffle mode to not pick up any of the files that irritate me so! It was nothing but AWESOME all the way to work. It made me so happy.

Here are some of the highlights:

• Paper Planes - MIA
• Receptacle for the Respectable - Super Furry Animals
• Bonafide Lovin - Chromeo
• That's Entertainment - The Jam
• Take it Easy, My Brother Charles - Jorge Ben

The last one is especially rad. I find it very hard not to dance to that one. (Note the video, featuring my wicked hot boyfriend, Ed O'Brien. YEOW!)

If I needed an alibi, I'd be screwed.

A hypothetical interrogation by the Imaginary Police:

IP: "What did you do last night?"

ME: "Ummmm... you know. Just went out. Did some fun stuff. CRAZY FUN STUFF."

IP: "Really? You didn't just get some take out and watch TV by yourself all night?"

ME: "Well... okay. Yeah. I ate White Spot. It was AWESOME."

IP: "What did you watch?"

ME: "Just The Outsiders... and The Daily Show. And then I went to bed. I swear. Right after that."

IP: "Oh, REALLY. You went to bed RIGHT AFTER THE DAILY SHOW?"

ME: "Yes. Right after. I swear. *cough* Can I get some water?"

IP: "Sure. Right after you tell the truth."

ME: "Ummm. What? Ummm... I *cough* I am telling the truth..."

IP: "Are you sure? Are you sure you didn't stay up until 3am watching "She's The Man" starring Amanda Bynes?"

ME: "What???? That's... that's crazy!" *gulp*

IP: "IS IT? IS IT SO CRAZY?"

ME: "Ummm... I'd like a lawyer..."

IP: "DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT STAY UP UNTIL 3AM WATCHING 'SHE'S THE MAN' STARRING AMANDA BYNES??"

ME: "OKAY! I DID IT! I DID IT! AND IT WAS ACTUALLY VERY ENJOYABLE!"

IP: "HA! You liked it?"

ME: "Amanda Bynes is a great comedic talent, okay? And that Channing Tatum dude is severely hot! Oh my god. Am I going to jail?"

IP: "You will only be imprisoned by your own shame."

Stay gold, Ponyboy.

In my grade 12 yearbook a friend of mine who was a year behind me in school wrote, "Stay gold, Ponyboy." I have always thought it was terribly clever of him. Cause you know, I was leaving high school and who the heck knew if we were ever going to run into each other again? (I DID stay gold, btw.)

ANYWAYS... in case you didn't remember, that quote comes from The Outsiders. Which I am watching right now. I am thinking about 2 things right now:

a) WTF ever happened to C. Thomas Howell? Like, after that friggin weird movie where he dyed his skin to pretend he was black?

b) Ummmm... knowing what Leif Garrett looks like NOW I kind of want to throw up for thinking this, but whoa. Was that dude ever hot back in 1983! Check it out:

























Well, hello there. I like your plaid shirt. Let's date, you drunken fool!

Also, I totally just spotted a very young Sofia Coppola. Totally didn't know she was in this movie. It's kind of awesome. You should watch it. Even if you hate the book it's worth it just to see the hotties. (Yay, Ralph Macchio!)

Correction: 9021-OH YEAH!

Ummmm... was it just me or was it kind of awesome? About 2 mins into the show my sister sent me a text message that read:

"Zuckerman? Haha!"

To which I later replied with:

"Ha! Stupid Nat can't make the new kind of coffee!"

I knew it was going to be awesome as soon as Lucille Bluth came stumbling out of the mansion as the drunk grandma.

Excellent. Just Excellent.

9021 uh-oh!

OMG, you guys! I just watched the episode when Dylan got married and he was SOOOOOO happy... AND THEN HIS WIFE GOT SHOT THE DAY AFTER THEY GOT MARRIED. AND THEN HE CRIED WHILE SITTING IN A DOORWAY HOLDING A BABY CAT.

It was so sad. For reals.

I can just tell this new version is going to TOTALLY SUCK compared to the old one. I'll watch it anyways... but seriously, the first time someone smokes pot and everyone else is shocked I'm so bailing!

Cured!

I am so damn smart sometimes.

I just figured out how to cure my anxiety. What I need is my own personal Obama. He would just follow me around and whenever I start to get nervous he would take my hand and say, "Yes we can."

Yep, that would do it.

The Shit Mix

Remember when I told you about that contest I was in? Well, the humiliation has been completed. For your viewing pleasure, I present to you the loser of the contest, Reggie. In his walk of shame.




I don't even know this guy, but I wish I did. Cause obviously he is hilarious and awesome. So funny.

Uhhhhh...

So I never really did wake up today. I'm still in the same sort of daze I was in this morning on the bus when I was listening to Neil Diamond and suddenly I was all, "Oh CRAP! I'm supposed to get off the bus now." It's lucky I snapped out of it when I did. I could have ended up in... Yaletown. *shudder*

Inspiration.

Many a person has commented on my apparent lack of emotions. (Other than anger and rage, of course.) I have long suspected that there were some in there somewhere... and today I found them. And it is all his fault.




























Barack Obama made me cry. Out of joy, excitement and pride. And I'm not even American. He's like magic. He makes me happy.

*wink wink*

Today I was sitting at my desk making faces at the computer screen (as I normally do) when I tried to wink with my left eye. I can't do it. When I try to do it, it just looks like I am squinting. What the heck? Why can't I wink with both eyes?

Can you? Try it. Go ahead, I'll wait.

*waiting*


Well, can you?

My new task is to teach myself to wink with my left eye. You never know when that sort of thing might come in handy. You know, like if you were trying to wink at a cute guy and he like... couldn't see your right eye for whatever reason, so you had to wink with the left one. And because you had trained yourself to be so very versatile, he totally saw it and BAM! the next thing you know you are like, married or whatever. So you know. That's probably something I'm going to thank myself for in the future. You can never be too prepared, right? Right.

Monday-schmonday.

This morning I got changed no less than 3 times before I left the house. And this is not counting all the various combinations I had tried on BEFORE committing to outfit number one.

First I was all, "Okay this looks fine." Then I ate breakfast and when I went to put shoes on I was all, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This shirt and these pants can never be worn together. NEVER!" So I changed my shirt. And then I was all, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That looks ridiculous!" So then I changed my pants. And then I changed my shirt again. And then I looked at the time and though I still thought I looked stupid, I had to leave to catch the bus. So basically what I am saying is, some mornings I hate all my clothes.

The End.

Lest we forget.

This morning in a bid to avoid listening to the radio today at work, I grabbed a bunch of cd's before I left the house. It was an odd little assortment. I brought:

1) Cat Stevens - Gold
2) 80's New Wave Compilation - Various
3) 80's Movies - Various (Dudes! It had Axel F AND DeBarge! Gah!)
4) Radiohead - Kid A
5) The Dandy Warhols - Welcome to the Monkey House

I didn't make it to the Cat Stevens today... and both the 80's discs are obviously just for the novelty. Kid A is a classic... a staple for me. That album (along with Amnesiac, Massive Attack's Mezzanine and TV on the Radio's first album) has served as my lullaby every night. I put one of those albums on every night before I go to bed and listen to it as I fall asleep. I just love it. It calms me down and makes me feel so happy.

Now, The Dandy Warhols. I had totally forgotten about this album and I hadn't listened to it in over a year. When I popped it in at work this morning, I was reminded as to why I stole it from my college radio station in the first place... BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME.

It is seriously great, you guys! If you have it, give it a listen. You won't be sorry. I'm totally putting it back into regular rotation. Here is a video of one of my fave songs from the album... I bet you can guess why I like it so much!



I practically DO live on science alone. It's awesome.

There are two colours in my hair.

Okay. So... Radiohead. I'm not going to give you the rundown on the entire setlist or anything like that. It's not what I do. What I do, is tell you how it made me feel.

It was everything I could have possibly imagined. Standing in the pouring rain, dancing my butt off and getting far too close to strangers. On any other day, the rain and lack of personal space to me would have been horrifying. But it wasn't, because it was for RADIOHEAD!

I would have to say that my favourite moment was hearing the first few notes of "Everything In Its Right Place". I got chills. Chills!

I loved every song. I loved the rain. I loved Ed in his super sexy suit and scarf combination. He makes me blush, just by looking so attractive.

I love Radiohead.

In Rainbows

There were no rainbows. Just rain. Glorious rain. Giant, big fat soak you to the bone raindrops. And I loved every goddamn minute of it.