Throw da water on em'

I have watched this routine like 5 times now, and it makes me want to run out the damn door right now and take a hip hop class. I want to dance this routine! It's so friggin' great.




Tabitha and Napoleon are fast becoming my new fave choreographers on this show. They are wicked!

Peace out, yo. I gots to go practice.

Can you feel it?

It is late and I have to get up early... but I am so excited about something that I just have to share it with you now. It can't wait until tomorrow!

Tonight I was lucky enough to have tickets to see Naturally 7 at the Centre as part of the jazz festival. I volunteer every year so I can take advantage of the free tickets. I usually end up seeing about 3 - 5 shows during the festival, which I certainly could not afford to do on my own. I also love it because it allows me to explore and discover new music that I may have never come across otherwise. As a music geek, this is the ultimate in AWESOME.

So back to the show. Naturally 7 is a group of 7 dudes from NYC, who have no backing band and are all singers. Technically speaking, they sing a cappella, but you would never know it just from hearing them. They each have this crazy ability to use their voices to sound like instruments. One dude "sings" the harmonica, one does bass, one does guitar, one does trombone (complete with arm movements) and one dude beatboxes as an ENTIRE DRUM KIT. It is INSANE. And to top it all off, they can all sing brilliantly. Beautifully! Or as one might say, these boys can SAAAAAAANGGGG.

This is a video from youtube that made them kinda famous... they are singing Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" on the Metro in Paris. It's nothing short of brilliant. Seriously, guys. Youtube the heck out of them... you won't be sorry.



They are such incredible performers... hearing them and watching them made me so happy. I was laughing, clapping, screaming and singing the whole night. When I left I felt so fulfilled and uplifted. I am so amazed and impressed that a group that I barely knew anything about was able to draw such an emotional response from me... that sort of thing is usually reserved for music that I have had an entire lifetime to build an emotional relationship with. It's such a great feeling to discover something like this!

Am I freaking you out? I'm just so gosh darn happy right now! And you can thank Naturally 7 for that. (Seriously. CHECK THEM OUT!)

One track mind.

Here I am, on day 2 of my media lounge duties... and I am REALLY BORED. There just aren't as many artists and cool dudes hanging around on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons as there are on the weekends. Oh well. I know this for next year.


However, today I brought my computer with me. This has allowed me to conduct some very important research on a variety of topics. The most important, of course, being the subject of ketchup chips.





















I suddenly got an intense craving for these bad boys and could not stop thinking about them. So that led me to a Google search, which taught me that these are actually something of a regional delicacy. Apparently, they are not widely available in the US... and are considered to be a Canadian thing.

That's just crazy talk. How have those poor little creatures lived without the wonder that is ketchup chips??? They taste nothing like ketchup, but they turn your lips a divine shade of red that not even MAC could dare to duplicate.

They also turn your fingers bright red, which isn't really all that cool if you are over the age of 10... but if you were ever asked about why your fingers were so red, you could answer with something like, "Oh, that? I killed a guy. I scrubbed up really well, but it won't come off. DISS ON ME."


So yeah. Ketchup chips are awesome. And I still don't have any. BOOOOOO.

That is all.

Filtered, for great taste!

I'm lucky, I suppose, because I was given one of those brain filters which allows me to think things in my head and then decide whether or not to actually say them. People who don't have those seem to get themselves in a lot of trouble. But I often wonder what would happen if I didn't have one...

What they said: *random talk about things that I don't really give a crap about*

What I said: "Mmhmmm... okay... riiiiiight...sure... yeah, okay great."

What I THOUGHT: "Yeah, okay... do you want to talk about this before or after I punch you in the face? Either one is good for me. They would both be incredibly satisfying."

OH WELL. I guess we will never know...

Old.

I'm nearly 27... which I suppose isn't all that old, but I assure you that it certainly feels that way sometimes. Case in point, tonight.

Last night I did this super fun charity run thing, which was really awesome. I ended up not getting home until about midnight, which in my case is actually kind of late. I actually stayed up for a while and got into bed at about 2am. THAT IS CRAZY.

I slept in pretty late this morning and then went out all day. I got home at about 6. That is not late. That is early. So why in the heck did I feel like I was ready to go to bed??? At 6??? PM???? Because I am old.

I also effed up my shoulder somehow and now it really hurts. It is Saturday night and I am sitting at home, practically falling asleep in this here armchair with a heating pad on me. And this is where I shall stay. I am supposed to be at my friend's birthday party, but I am too tired and ouchy to convince myself to get all gussied up and drive downtown. Because I am old.

Am I a horrible person for bailing on my friends because I am tired? I don't know. However, one might argue that I would not be awesome company anyways because I would likely just be staring at a wall and saying "Whhhhaaaaaaaaaattttttt?" upon realizing that people are trying to talk to me. Also, I don't think you are supposed to drive when you can't really keep your eyes open. Right?

Yeah, I know. I suck.

Pride. (In the name of love for your teeth.)

I was visiting my parents a couple of weeks ago when my Dad came in and said something like, "Hey, kid. That's quite the blog you've got." and I was all, "Thanks, Dad... WAIT. DID YOU SAY BLOG? WHO TAUGHT YOU ABOUT THE INTERNET????"

Up until that point it had never occurred to me that my parents were even really aware of my blog, much less reading it. Which got me to thinking... would they be embarrassed by anything I have written here? You know, because of all the swearing and whatnot that goes on around here.

The answer is... no. I don't think they would be. Because let's be honest, what parent wouldn't be proud of a kid who writes about things like how she maybe possibly forgot to brush her teeth this morning and is trying to cover it up by drinking coffee and eating mints and then puts it on the Internet so everyone else will know? Which may or may not have happened to me this morning? Hypothetically speaking?

I guess the point is that had I remembered to brush my teeth like a normal, responsible 3 year old, I would still have that $5 bill in my wallet. (Hypothetically speaking.) Live and learn... in KINDERGARTEN.

PS: Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Look! You are on the internet! Good for you! Internet high five! (I will teach you that one later.)

What a way to start your day!

So I can't believe I nearly forgot to mention this crazy thing that happened to me this morning. One of my worst fears was realized. It was mildly terrifying.

I started taking vitamin supplements in an effort to try and ease my anxiety. I take these vitamin B Complex pills, and they are fricken' GIANT. It has always been hard for me to be able to swallow pills, so in order to take these behemoths I have to psyche myself up a bit first.

This morning, I am standing there with a mouthful of water and the giant pill in my mouth, mentally preparing to swallow the pill. Finally I tilted my head back and gulped the water down. But the pill got stuck sideways in my throat.

I panicked. I was gasping for air, trying to cough it out. I couldn't breathe. I coughed some more and finally it came back out.

IT WAS TERRIFYING. I was home all by myself, so while I was standing there, choking, I kept thinking, "Okay. If I can't cough this up, WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO? I AM GOING TO PASS OUT ON THE FLOOR AND NO ONE WILL KNOW THAT I AM HERE."

As of tomorrow morning, I am kicking it kiddie stylez and will be cutting up my vitamins into kid-sized bits so that I don't totally kill myself by trying to be healthy. FRICK.

I hear ya, cartoon version of Elvis Costello.

Remember that episode of the Simpsons when Homer was at rock camp? Remember when they broke Elvis Costello's glasses and his response to such cruelty was, "Oh no! My image!!!"

That is how I feel right now about my stinking passport photo. I hate that my picture does not have my glasses. I love my glasses. I am never NOT wearing my glasses. (Except for those few times in Vegas, but that was a bust. I hated not wearing them.)

I know that my passport pic is going to look awful no matter what I do because a) I think it is mandatory that everyone looks like a damn fool in their passport pic, and b) I am really not photogenic. At all. But I would really rather look like a fool with a pair of glasses on my face.

A lady that I work with got hers done at a place that had a variety of frames with no lenses in them so that people who wear glasses can still wear them in the photo. I think that is brilliant. So I am seriously considering hopping over to the dollar store to buy some cheap ass readers so I can pop the lenses out and get my photo re-taken. Is this crazy talk? Am I being a baby?

I am just remembering how I used to get hassled all the time for having a drivers licence photo that looked very different from how I looked in person... and it was really annoying. This is something I could develop anxiety over. Because I'm that attached to my glasses.

Also, it should be noted that my mom's friend Celeste totally got pissed off about a bad passport photo and totally paid to get new ones because she refused to show it to anyone. This makes sense to me. You are stuck with the damn thing for 5 years. Gah!

Effing vacations.

The message that was conveyed to customs officers by my old passport photo:

"Oh, hey guys! Look at me, being all youthful and travelling places. Aren't my glasses cute? Isn't this so fun? This is just the greatest. You just have yourselves a great day, alright? Awesome."

The message conveyed to customs officers by my new passport photo:

"First off, just let me tell you that I look WAY fucking cuter in my glasses. They are Chanel. CHANEL, I SAY! ANYWAYS... yeah I'm going on vacation. Whatever. I am really pale and splotchy. Also, I may appear to be a bit suicidal and generally mentally unbalanced. WATCH YO SELF."

Customs is going to be SO FUN for the next five years! Seriously, though. It is kind of bullshit that no one would let me take a passport photo with my glasses on. It is totally allowed!!!!!! Fuckers.

Ain't nobody eating vegetables up in here!

Holy crap. I just got back from an early Father's Day dinner with my family at Memphis Blues. There were 5 of us. We ate this:

















Whoa nellie! That is $66 worth of meaty goodness. And it is worth every penny. YUMMMMM.

Aaaaaaaand now I need a nap.

In other words, it's too hot out there.

The following was on a sign that was posted on the doors upstairs in my office:

"Heat deflection experiment in progress. Please keep doors closed."

Awesome. Because they could have just said "Keep the doors closed, yo."

Baguette!

Hoooooooooly crap. I am watching Flight of the Conchords on DVD at the moment and LOVING IT. I just watched this, and I laughed so hard I cried.




No joke. I seriously cried.

It kind of makes me want to say "Screw it!" to my not spending money plan and go see them in Seattle. We shall see...

Challenge!

In an effort to save a bit of cash-monies before I leave on my vacation(!!!) to San Francisco in July, I am taking on a challenge.

From now until I leave, I am going to try (TRY! SO HARD!) to not purchase food from anywhere other than the grocery store. This means coffee too. Eeek! This is tricky business. I don't eat out a lot or anything, but lately I have been spending more money than I normally do, and this seems like the logical area to save it. Is that crazy? Am I totally insane for fully committing to cook my own food for the next month and a bit? I think I can totally do it.

The other thing I think I can totally do, is not go shopping. At all. If it ain't at the grocery store, I don't need it. I probably won't even cheat by going to Superstore to buy pants.

This seems scary. What the heck am I going to do with all of my time if I am not buying things I don't need?

Confessions.

There are a couple of things I've been wanting to tell you for some time now, but I just didn't know how to say it... so I'm just going to say it:

When I am at work and I need to alphabetize things I sometimes have to run though the alphabet song in my head to figure shit out.

Also, I cannot do simple arithmetic in my head. I start to panic, and my mind goes blank. Numbers make me terribly nervous. Hence why I will ask you a thousand times to make sure I am tipping appropriately.

One more thing. Every once in awhile I catch myself watching reruns of 7th Heaven and other assorted religious programming. Mostly because despite the seriousness of the messages they are trying to convey, I find it super hilarious. Especially that anorexic looking lady who sits behind a news desk. I don't get it, but man do I love it.

I know this is a lot to take in, but I hope we can still be friends. Please?

PS: While I'm at it, I might as well tell you that I sort of think Phil Collins is awesome. Not that Disney balladry bullcrap, but the hardcore shit he used to do. You know... like Sussudio. Heck yes.

I think they have a pill for that.

Sometimes I really get on my own nerves. This is because I obsess over really REALLY stupid things that my brain will not let go of. Case in point: how I just spent a ridiculous amount of time on the internet trying to remember a song. All I could remember was what the video LOOKED like... and couldn't remember the actual song. I suddenly became convinced that it was Shakespears Sister (no, I didn't spell it wrong... they took out the e!). But it was not. It became all consuming and my brain was unable and unwilling to think about anything else until I figured it out. It was driving me CRAZY. CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then I remembered:





Yes. I really spent 45 minutes looking for Swing Out Sister. Not because I love the song, but because I NEEDED to remember.

I got problems, y'all.

YUMMMMM!

I don't really understand why eating sweets is sometimes seen as a bad thing... because they taste SO GOOD. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that they are like, bad for you or something?? Meh.

Hence why I was so excited when I got to Brie's house yesterday and saw an entire table filled with sugary goodness. AND I was openly encouraged to EAT MY FACE OFF. And I did.

So what if I was awake all night! If was friggin worth it. I LOVE CUPCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think some if it might still be in my system. I'm trying to calm down. Yay!