No one cares, no one sympathizes. You just stay home and play synthesizers.

When I was mulling over whether or not I was going to go to Pemberton, one of the factors was how many acts I actually WANTED to see. Like, BADLY. The list turned out to be rather smallish, hence the not going. It came down to two obvious ones: Jay-Z and Tom Petty, of course! There was pretty much only one other act that I was interested in. If I had made it to Pemberton, you bet your ass I would have been shaking it to Chromeo! (Were you there? Did you see them? Was it AWESOME????)

So I was pretty excited to see that Dooce had posted a Chromeo vid today. Given my taste for pretty much anything even slightly 80's influenced, it's no surprise that I love this band. You can't hear them without dancing. It's impossible. And now for a dance break. (I'm being lame and posting the same video Dooce did, because I like it. But my other fave is Needy Girl.)



They also have the distinction of being one of the only bands to successfully use a vocoder without PISSING ME OFF. (*ahem* BON JOVI!) Now that's really saying something.

Older. Wiser. But mostly just older.

Birthdays are never a big deal to me. I've always felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of them. It feels a little awkward to me to throw a party for myself and force people to come and shower me with attention. I don't really want the attention. I just wanna hang out, you know? I don't need the fanfare.

This year my birthday was great... I got to spend some time with some lovely girls, exploring a lovely city. And I got to go to jail. Ain't nothing wrong with that. I managed to turn 27, away from my normal life. And I loved it.

But it got me thinking about something. Because I am a person who does not really crave attention, I think I am misunderstood. When I am hanging out in a large group, I'm the one who is quite happy to sit in a corner and watch everyone else interact. It's fascinating to me. (Especially if I am with people who are a) single and b) drunk.) Seeing how other people communicate with each other, both verbally and non-verbally, is the craziest thing ever. The problem is, that while I am busy watching and genuinely enjoying myself, it is often interpreted as anti-social behavior.

You see, when I am with other people, I like to listen. I don't always have something of value to say. I hate the notion of talking for the sake of talking. Some of the stupidest things I have ever said in my life have been the direct result of me talking because I feel as though I am supposed to. To me, the moments that follow me saying something completely dumb are far more awkward than the moments of silence. If I'm not talking to you, it's not because I'm an asshole. It's because I'm trying NOT to be an asshole.

Another frustration I experience as a result of being kind of an introvert is that people tend to assume that if you don't like to talk all the time that you lack confidence. I do have a lot of insecurities, and of course, I am never confident all the time. But most of the time, I feel pretty okay about who and what I am. I'm okay with the fact that I don't want to talk all of the time. I'm okay with the fact that I don't always smile. I'm okay with how I look with no makeup on. It's me. It's who I am. I don't see the point in hiding it.

So there you go. If I'm not saying anything, I'm not necessarily mad at you. If I'm not schmoozing, I'm not necessarily being a jerk. Though there is always the slight possibility that I AM being a jerk. :P

Facebook etiquette?

I still find it weird that we have had to develop entirely new behavioural guidelines not only for the Internet, but for individual websites and applications. It's a lot to take in, and a lot to remember!

Don't even get me started on twitter etiquette. (twitterquette? GAWD!) I'm still trying to figure that out. However, having used Facebook for awhile now, you would think that I would have gotten it by now. But I do not. I still have questions.

For one thing, I have heard talk of purging friend lists. Am I supposed to do this? Of course there are people on there that I have never talked to since adding them. But that doesn't mean I never will... so I guess I just keep adding people? What do you do? Ack!

Then there is the matter of when it is acceptable to add new people as Facebook friends. On several occasions I have met people and after only having met them once, they want to be my Facebook friend. I think it's kind of nice. But is it also kind of weird? I don't normally add friends after meeting them once. Mostly because I've met them once! There was one time where I did that and my friend request was accepted, but then I felt SO WEIRD about it after. Should I ever run into this person again, will they think I am a crazy stalker because I don't even know them, but I'm all "BE MY FACEBOOK FRIEND!"? It's kind of weird, isn't it?

Facebook has created this whole new level of social anxiety for me. When people don't write on my wall I wonder why. When people DO write on my wall I wonder why. Sometimes people have inside jokes that I do not understand and I feel dumb. I often wonder if I might be better off not knowing this much information about the people in my life. But then I think about how lame I would feel if I didn't know all this stuff because I DIDN'T have Facebook.

So basically what I am saying is that it's a catch-22. You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. How fun!

God, I hate the internet.

PS: Sorry baby, you know I didn't mean that! Don't you ever leave me! EVER!!!!!! I love youuuuuuuu, internet!

Paul Weller :1 Rainy day: ZERO

Today is a bit gloomy, innit? The bottoms of my pants were good and soaked by the time I got to work. (I really hate that.) Days like this seem to offer up plenty of reasons to be grumpy... but I don't need them. Because this popped up on my iPod and made me very happy (because it is a great song!):



The Jam - Walking in Heaven's Sunshine

I LOVE THE JAM. REALLY A LOT.

Note to self.

Being that I am a heathen, it probably would have helped to have perused the bible before going to see Jesus Christ Superstar. I still have no idea who the rich guy in the shiny suit was.

Wikipedia to the rescue!

Whoa! Pictures!

If you are so inclined, you are welcome to peruse my collection of photographs that I took in San Francisco whilst on vacation. 

Flickr, yo!

Please note that since I do not actually own a digital camera in working order, these were all taken on my cell phone camera. Some of them are pretty cool, if I do say so myself... enjoy! 

Chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool...

I am enjoying the rest of my days off by sleeping in really late, and doing next to nothing. After 5 days of being on the go alllllllll day long, it is kinda nice!

Pretty much everyone I work with is going up to Pemberton this weekend, but I am not. I probably could have gone, but after having such a busy week away and having to be back at work at 8am Monday morning, I decided that I would rather spend the weekend at home. I'm not lying about it when I say that I'm kinda glad to not be going, I swear! There will be no porta-potties, tents and hours upon hours in the car for this girl!

Though I must admit, I do wish I could see Jigga. I love him! *sigh*

We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

Hello, friends! Well, I've arrived back at home all safe and sound. And under the duty free exemption limits for my time away in San Francisco! (Woot.)

In true nerd fashion I have spent the last 2 hours on the Internet, trying to get everything updated so that I can feel whole again. Seriously. I laugh at those chumps on their Blackberries and iPhones who can't bear to be disconnected from their Internet lives for more than an hour... but now I kind of get it. It felt strange and foreign to not be able to pop back to the hotel room and at least update twitter. (Which, by the way, was a huge mistake. Because like 90 million people unfollowed me this weekend! Thanks for the loyalty, a-holes!)

I would like to try to put together some sort of wrap-up post about the trip which I will do sometime during the rest of my glorious week off. (Boo-yah!) But in the meantime, I will share with you a few things I learned about San Francisco:

1) People there are are nice. And they will talk to you. And they will be friendly. Even if they don't know you. And they will come up to you and ASK YOU if you need directions because you obviously look confused! WTF? I am totally rethinking the way I deal with tourists here.

2) Apparently, I am hot there. Lydia claims that I got cat-called when we walked past a bar. Awesome? I can't say because I didn't see if they were cute or not. Odds are NO.

3) Transit there is way more efficient than it is here. There are like 3 trains you can take. And buses. And cable cars. And street cars. And it's cheap. Good times.

4) I will go there again. Lots. Next time I will know better than to try to stay at the hostel. I'll just go straight to a hotel.

5) Apparently when it is your birthday, that is the day when nobody reads your blog. Analytics does not lie! The bloop on the graph was like, way low down. It's okay though. I got a lil' facebook love. Muah!

That's all you kids are getting for now. I'm tired! I've had a big day.

EWWWWWWWWWWW!

I understand that things are difficult when you are standing on a crowded bus. Everyone is a little closer than they would like to be, physically speaking. However, most of us understand the concept of personal space and therefore manage to stand on the bus without actually touching each other.

EXCEPT FOR THE MAN WHO STOOD BEHIND ME THIS MORNING.

This 50 something man stood SO close to me that his fat gut was touching my back. At one point I shuffled forward to get a little space, and he sidled right up behind me again. I think his entire body was touching me. I wanted to scream. And throw up a little. It was horrifying.

I stood there feeling a little violated, and wondered what (if anything) I could get away with saying to this man. Things that came to mind were:

"Seriously. BACK THE EFF OFF."
"See all those people at the back of the bus? See how they aren't touching each other. PLEASE OBSERVE."
"STOP TOUCHING ME YOU GROSS, GROSS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Also worth mentioning is how I nearly full on elbowed him in the stomach. On purpose. Like one would do if they were being attacked from behind. I actually started to raise my arm up... and stopped just short of making contact. I very nearly intently injured this man.

I'm sure he just has no concept of personal space... and it probably wasn't a creepy thing... but it certainly felt that way. But in the event that this should happen again (to me or someone else) what is the appropriate course of action? How do you tell someone to back off in a polite manner without totally embarrassing them?

I could seriously go for another shower right about now. Yuck.

This is what you call talent, people.

I made this for my sister, because she sent me a Facebook gift of two robots along with lyrics to "The Humans Are Dead".





















Who will win? Will bottomless lyrics reign supreme or will phat beats and birds on the back triumph? YOU DECIDE.

I hope you like it, sister!


*Also, the fact that I likely have too much time on my hands has been noted.*

Now that's just inconsiderate...

For whatever reason, (ask Lydia) we only pay for "lite speed" internet. Or as I like to call it, "bullshit ghetto slow" speed. Back in the day this wasn't a huge issue for me... but now since I like to do things such as watch videos it is really annoying. Luckily, someone around these parts cares enough to have an unsecured network. Which is way the eff faster. So I steal it, while Lydia uses our slow speed because she just uses it for casual browsing.

Normally, this works out just fine. But sometimes it does not. Sometimes I can't friggin connect to the unsecured network. This is when I LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND. I bet you can guess that it is happening RIGHT NOW. All I wanted to do was watch an episode of Weeds and go to bed. But nooooooooooooooooooo. I can't do that. Because they aren't intuitive enough to realize that I can't connect and therefore they need to reboot or something. JERKS.

So here I am, with nothing good on tv and nothing good on the internet because my network is a pansy and can't handle videos. My network is an asshole.

Perhaps I should just pay for decent internet service? Or not. Meh.

He gets it from me.

I always look forward to seeing my nephew, Gavin because he's so awesome. He's only 5, but I can tell that he is going to be the kind of person I'd like to hang out with when he's a grown up. He's super creative (like me!), never shuts up (like me!), is always coming up strange ideas (like me!) and always says the most hilarious things. (LIKE ME! Right, guys?)

Take last night at dinner, for example. He was helping my sister and I set the table and he kept trying to take more things out of the fridge to stick on the table. He grabbed a gar of pickles and said to me, "Whoa. Auntie Sarah. We gotta have pickles on the table. People will want them. Trust me." So I let him put the pickles on the table. Half an hour later when he was eating his dinner, he turns around and says he has to tell us all something. "Okay, just so you know... when everyone is all done eating their dinner then we can put our plates away and THEN... it will be PICKLE TIME!" Please note that "pickle time" was said with jazz hands for emphasis.

Then there was the matter of hopscotch. We used sidewalk chalk to draw it on the patio. He was looking for the chalk but couldn't remember what it was called.

G: "Where is the hopscotch?"
Me: "It's right there, DUH. On the ground. Where we drew it."
G: "Noooooo. Not that. I need that stuff."
Me: "I don't know what you are talking about."
G: "Ummm... where's the hop... WHERE IS THE SCOTCH?"
Grandpa (my dad): "Gah! I'm fresh out! All I have is whiskey."

THEN... he was actually playing hopscotch when he threw a suspicious looking rock. I mentioned to my mom about how it didn't LOOK like a rock... was that... is it... OMG, IT IS! Yep. He was playing hopscotch using a dried up dog turd. And then he screamed. And we all laughed our faces off.

Oh, how I enjoy children that do not belong to me.

I did not vote for you.

This is how I started off my morning yesterday. Needless to say, it was kind of an awesome day.

So I'm walking along in a non-specific location when the mayor zips up beside me. I turn to him and say, "Hey! Good morning."

The Mayor: "Do you know where I can find (blank) and (blank)?"

Me: "Sure! You just go around that corner over there and then go straight. You'll see it when you get around the corner."

The Mayor: "Great, thanks!"

Me: "No problem."

He then zips off in his lightning fast wheelchair. As soon as he is out if earshot I mutter, "And you can tell your garbage buddies I said thanks for not picking up my goddamn garbage despite the fact that I followed the protocol, ya turd."

Then I carried on my merry way.

Heh. I totally called the mayor a turd.

This is not unlike the time I ran past him at the Sun Run and in my out-of-breath whisper said to myself, "I did not vote for you, but thanks for the encouragement."

I think I need a meme.

So this past week has been seriously frustrating for me, because I seem to have developed a serious case of writers block. It's bad, people. Normally I find all sorts of things to write about just by going about my normal life... but this week? I got nuthin'. It has even spilled over into twitter updates!

Nothing has really made me feel compelled to write. It makes me sad, because I do so love the process of writing.

I just sit there, fingers hovering over the keys waiting for inspiration that never seems to come along. All while watching that horrid little blinking cursor, just taunting me. Flashing over and over again. It might as well be chanting "You. Are. Horrible. You. Suck. Large."

All I can do about it is to wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Fucking cursor.

So nice.

It's so nice looking outside, that I am considering not going home straight away. Instead, I might just find a nice shady spot under a tree and read that goddamn Oprah book my parents are forcing me to read because they are convinced it will make me a happier and more well balanced individual.

Or something like that.

Rapunzel.

It's been awhile since my last haircut. A loooooooooong while. I think it was just before Christmas! That's crazy. Especially since my hair grows so darn quickly. I had been planning to get my hair cut sometime in the next 2 weeks, so I could have cute new hair for when I go to San Francisco.

HOWEVER... in the past week I have worn my hair down a few times and everyone keeps telling me how great it looks. This is the kind of thing a girl likes to hear every once in awhile. So now I have a dilemma. To cut, or not to cut? I just don't know what to do! I do enjoy getting my hair cut... but I also enjoy compliments.

What do you think, friends? Help a kid out, will ya?

This is how I deal with my rage.

In the past week, I have watched two shows that pay homage to one of the best scenes in the history of film: Kevin Bacon's Dance of Rage from Footloose.



Oh, you think it's lame and ineffective, but it is the very best method of dealing with your anger. Trust me on this one. If it didn't work, would it have made an appearance in Flight of the Conchords?




So full of rage! But not after the dancing is over.

One thing to keep in mind when practicing this method, is that you are not limited to dancing out your rage in an abandoned factory or warehouse. There is no reason you can't take that shit outside to a wooded area and work it out.



So go ahead kids. Dance it out. Just try not to get hurt. Maybe try to stay away from slopes, and you should be fine.

Wanna go to prom?

Today I decided that I really wish I could go to a prom again. Except this time I would look really cute, and maybe I'd actually have a date? Or something?

Really, what triggered this was hearing this song on the radio. After that I could not stop thinking about how awesome it would be to walk into the prom and hear that song playing.




OMG. Do you think Jake Ryan is still single? Cause he could pick me up in his hot car ON MY BIRTHDAY and then we would eat cake while sitting on a table. And then he can take me to the prom. And THAT, friends, is the plot to the super ultimate Molly Ringwald film.



Seriously. Look at that tall drink of water.

Sorry... what?

Here I am. On what is now day 9 of the not sleeping enough party that I have been invited to! Yayyyyyy!

I'm so seriously out of it today. Everything takes me 14 million times longer to do because I'm so slow.

I have no idea how much sleep I am actually getting... all I know is that I end up waking up a LOT during the course of the night and when I do sleep, I do so lightly. It is kind of bullshit.

Tonight, I'm bringing melatonin to the party. It better friggin work. I can't take much more of this. I'm like a zombie. But I eat chicken and tofu instead of your brains. Yum.