Unfollow.

If you use Twitter, then you are probably familiar with the pain and heartache of the unfollow. Sometimes it comes in waves, like when you say something horribly offensive. Or perhaps you have made one too many puns. Or maybe you talked about hanging out with no pants on... AGAIN. *ahem*

There are things like Qwitter, which send you an email and tell you who unfollows you and which tweet made them leave. I don't play that game, because I know my ego is far too fragile to deal with that sort of information. However, sometimes I discover by accident that people have unfollowed me. This sucks, because it is always someone that I follow and therefore think is hilarious and awesome.

I'm not going to lie to you. It is a little upsetting to know that someone has given up on you. Especially if it's someone who you have come to admire and appreciate. But you have to remember, it's not personal.

I like to look at the unfollow as less of a, "YOU SUCK, YOU TALENTLESS HACK." and more of a, "It was fun while it lasted, but your brand of comedy just really isn't resonating with me at this particular point in my life. Good luck in your future endeavors."

That's nicer, isn't it? An amicable parting of ways.

"Unfollows are a little easier to take if you imagine them zipping away in a little boat, while you stand on the shore waving farewell." - me, from Twitter

So if you unfollow me, you can imagine me waving from the shore and calling out after you, "Bye! Have a safe trip! See you around!"

Then I go back home and sit around in my underwear so I can write about sitting around in my underwear.

Crap. You aren't coming back, are you?