Next Monday I will wake up, having gotten older again by one day. I will also have gotten older by one year.
I miss being younger. I miss having birthdays where all I cared about was what kind of presents I was going to get, or what kind of cake I’d get to eat. I don’t wonder about these things so much anymore. They have been replaced by bigger thoughts. Thoughts like, “Why am I still doing the exact same thing I was doing last year?” or “Shouldn’t you be moving on? Moving forward? Why can’t you bring yourself to do that?”
The answer is always the same. I don’t know. I never know. Which is exactly the problem. If I knew the answers, I’d be doing something about it. If I was doing something about it, I wouldn’t need to ask the questions.
Maybe this year will be different. Maybe I’ll figure it out. Maybe I’ll take a flying leap and change everything. Or maybe I’ll just do the robot dance. Again. For another year.
5 comments:
The only way to know is to think something up, then go try it. Life is figured out by the living of it.
I like what that guy said up there. You've got swerve and awesome and serious funny...so I'll sit here and do the robot for you and you go be all the more awesome.
love, angela (yeah...that angela)
The only thing I really miss about being younger is that I was much more flexible and didn't have to worry about what I ate as much as I do now.
And don't worry too much about not knowing what you're doing---I think we all feel that way. And if we start feeling like we do know what we're doing we start wondering if it's the right thing to do. Or maybe that's just neurotic people...like me.
PS There are men in a hanging metal basked cleaning my window right now. I'm on the 6th floor. Ooop! Down they go to the next floor. So weird.
Good for you for asking yourself this stuff now; I waited until I was in my early thirties to be gutsy enough to jump in with both feet and change my life.
Trust me, just take a chance on something and when you start getting those "are you sure you should be doing this" questions at night- ignore them.
Otherwise you'll just get older this year.
What you should care about on your birthday this year: the flavour of martini you will be drinking to celebrate this special day!
Lisa
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